Our Story

August 2010 will mark Gary and my 10th wedding anniversary.  How bizarre to think that I have not only been married for 10 years, but I've also been in the U.S. for 10 years.  We've built a life together, grown together, have a family together.

When I think about our story, I'm not always sure what to say.  It's more of who we are when we're together than how we met.  I am the organized planner, he's the calm procrastinator.  I like to be prepared for any scenario, he likes to take it as it comes.  I tend to overreact, he tends to underreact.  I like to please, he doesn't care if you're pleased or not. 

What's great about our marriage is that it is fabulously simple and easy.  There are no trust issues, there are no scary secrets, there's no, 'it's complicated'.  Sure, we have disagreements.  Like when I leave my snotty tissues all over the house, or when he leaves the kitchen a complete tip.  I'm sure there are things that he dislikes about my personality, just as there are things I dislike about his.  And we compromise, we apologize, we forgive.  Luckily we agree on many things - finances, the house, parenting... most things.

Lydia coming into our lives has added another layer of love.  I don't mean to sound so corny, but it solidified our relationship like nothing else could have done.  There are many statistics out there about preemie parents being more likely to separate or divorce.  The stresses, pressure and guilt cause a lot of emotional and financial strain, although I think this applies to all parents, not just preemie parents.  For me and Gary, it put things into perspective.  The things we argued about before weren't important anymore.  The fact that we came so close to losing our child binds us at a level that nothing ever did before.  We look at her and think, 'Wow, we brought this child into the world' along with 'We almost lost her.  How lucky are we that she chose to stay with us'.

There are things that we still learn about ourselves and each other.  I have realized that I need to trust Gary to take care of things; he will stand up for his family when it's necessary.  He doesn't always want to talk it to death like I do but when it comes down to it, he'll do what is right for us.  He's also more willing to call me out - to let me know when I'm being unreasonable, irrational, unfair.  I have been more forgiving.  I also like to encourage Gary to pursue his hobbies, to do what he enjoys.  I don't get as stressed out about things as I've realized I don't need to take all of the stress on.  He's here to take on life with me.

All of this from my question, 'Can someone help me with chat?!  It's not working properly' in a yahoo chatroom 11 years ago.  Gary said he could help (which he couldn't) and I thought, 'Hey cool, this guy lives in America'.  The follow-up e-mail came with the subject line, 'Just saying hello' and the body of the e-mail said, 'well, hello'.  Ha ha weird guy in America...you are just too humourous.  And it led to today and, we hope and believe, forever after.