Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sh*t My Kids Ruined

Lydia figured out how to unscrew the top off my nail varnish.  Blue on beige carpet is the new trend.  As is blue nail varnish not just on nails, but entire toes.  Oh, and on our faces too.  I think this belongs on sh*tmykidsruined.com.  If you've never been to this website, I highly recommend it.  I rate it higher than cakewrecks.com and I laugh a whole lot at those hot messes.

Last weekend, we had a pre-Christmas warm up weekend.  Stephen, Cory, Averie and Monty and Gary's parents came over.  Here's Grandma Net with the kids decorating cookies.  Notice the big kid sitting in the mix.

The behemoth of a cake pictured below is this year's newest fad.  Remember the turducken?  The chicken wrapped in a duck wrapped in a turkey?  Well this is the cherpumpple.  Stephen found this recipe online.  It's actually 3 different layers.  He took 3 different types of pies and baked them in 3 different types of cakes.  He then stacked them all on top of each other and covered the entire thing with icing! 
I wonder what Lydia will be when she's older?  Right now, she fancies herself as a photographer, snapping some great face shots of herself such as this one:
Lydia was pooped out after everyone went home on Sunday.  She sat in Daddy's lap and promptly fell asleep. 
So dudes.  What's the deal with Santa?  I mean seriously, this big fat guy who wears a red suit comes into my living room, scaring the crap out of me by eating my cookies and milk?  I have issues about pretending this guy exists; I don't particularly like the thought of lying to my child!  And you may think, oh what's the harm?  I know, most of you believed in Santa when you were younger and you weren't scarred when you found out he wasn't real.  Anyway, Gary says I'm not allowed to tell Lydia he's not real unless she specifically asks me about it.  That will be YEARS that we'll have to keep up with this ruse...bloody hell! 

Okay okay, I can spin truths.  I know Saint Nicholas actually existed.  I don't knock the Christ out of Christmas either.  I know he existed too.  Did I tell you an old boss told me I was going to hell because I didn't accept him as my saviour?  I was hoping that if I told him I thought he was a really important guy, a generous, loving, life-changing guy even to this day, I'd be safe.  Apparently not. 

Gary did try to spin me some yarn about me missing the point of Christmas and Santa Claus entirely.  Oh ho ho ho, pray tell, I need to hear this one.  He said it was about the spirit of giving.  Which, of course, was perfect fodder for a great Sonia rant.  Who exactly are we giving to?  Me, myself and I?  I'm not sure that the spirit of giving is just about giving each other ridiculous amounts of presents!  Now if he had said, it's about spending time together and giving each other some presents, I admit this to be true.  I like the idea of family traditions, being with loved ones, having a special time of year watching silly movies and singing songs.  I like the idea of getting Lydia things that will make her incredibly happy. 

But did we, the Donnellys of Summerville, practice the true spirit of giving this Christmas?  Hardly.  How about adopting a family for Christmas?  Donating some money to a good cause?  Dude, you're married to a woman who sold her soul to non-profit community work.  If you want to talk about giving, don't forget to walk the walk too.  Oh, he opened a can of worms now!  Next year I plan to barter the existence of Santa Claus with teaching the true spirit of giving.  Which means Gary will have to give up a present or two and stop using the excuse of, 'I do give.  I give them you!' 

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