Monday, January 25, 2010

Day 449

Reporting from the Donnelly camp, this is Chili Dog Donnelly, aka Annabella Chili Pepper the Beagle, Queen of all Beagles and other canines. It has been 449 days since the Little One made her appearance. Things have been changing every day. I'm not sure what her plan is, but the Big Ones seem to have no idea either. I have been collecting secret footage of her actions. You wouldn't believe the power she exerts over the Big Ones unless you saw it with your own eyes.

I have been working hard to build an alliance with the joker mutt - aka Brownie - aka Toffee Bosley Steakum Head Donnelly. Unfortunately she seems to have come under the spell of the Big Ones, acting like an imbecile when there's a slight chance of a walk, or running in circles in the house in a frenzy. Toffee has even shown affection towards the Little One. It looks like I am alone on this mission.
A surprising development this past week. We thought that Little One was doing well assimilating canine behaviour. Unfortunately I caught her bipedal. Such a disappointment as I thought she had pledged her allegiance to me.
This Little One is strange though. Perhaps the bipedalism is a mere ruse. Even whilst standing she transmits signals to us. For example, the hands placed on her belly - the Big Ones think it helps her balance, but I know she is telling me that her next meal is mine. Although she shows signs of submission, Little One is a constant source of annoyance - loud squeals, strange noises, laughing at nothing. At least when I bark, I am barking to assert my dominance over the world. Little One makes no sense - she squeals at toys and thinks that everything is funny. I held her down the other day to tell her to keep her eye on the prize. I'm not sure she understood everything that was said, as she started that incessant squealing again.I have been thinking of ways to break out of this prison for a long time. Sometimes the Big Ones tempt me with a ride in the car, or a walk. Sometimes I go, sometimes I choose to stay in prison. I will not be swayed and will show them that I am still in control. The Big Ones took down the vertical blinds to the back yard and put up some screens called 'curtains'. They block our view of the outside world, but I will show them no weakness.
Little One has not been able to communicate with us in dog language, but she has been feeding us to show us that she is on our side. Over the past 6 months we have been receiving more and more food. Lately she has been sharing her dinners with us - anything from chicken, pork, broccoli, cauliflower... the choices are endless! We hope that this trend will continue. Perhaps I will recruit her to be my human advisor and mediator when the time comes for me to take my throne again. Until then, I continue to fight the good fight. This is Queen of all Beagles and other canine transmitting this message from the Donnelly house.


de said...

Stay strong Chili! You will persevere! :-)

Cathy said...

I have the best solution of all. Chilli needs someone to help. Buffett would be perfect to round out your family. Two dogs create jealousy as you can see here, but THREE dogs would take the heat off.
Trust me on this one. I can drop him off anytime.